…and if you’ve seen Big Lebowski you know how that quote ends. Anyhoot, when EPMD played in Denmark recently, they had to get someone to drive them from Copenhagen to Århus and back, which ended up being me. I’ve had my run-ins with Erick Sermon and DJ Scratch before, but I figured they wouldn’t remember me.

I’m a pretty good driver, though a horrible parker, but by no means have I kept up my driving skills since moving to Copenhagen. For Aarhus Took It, however, I was the regular driver from 2001-2003 having picked up artists like Masta Ace, Foreign Legion, People Under The Stairs, Motion Man and Kutmasta Kurt, Pharoahe Monch and Last Emperor, so I’m fairly comfortable driving nine-person busses.

This trip unfortunately turned out less crunk than I’d expected as EPMD showed up an hour+ late, had to be rushed to Århus, and weren’t in the best of moods. It all went downhill on the highway when we were stuck in a jam, moving very slowly and Parrish opened the passengerdoor in the back. As some will know this gave me a huge flashback to the trip with the MC’s Fight Night bus, where Martin Preacherman tragically died opening the wrong door (I was there, for those not in the know). So I felt I had to tell them off a bit. That didn’t go over well at all, and Erick Sermon pretty much demanded that I’d drive silently for the rest of the trip while they did…whatever. Add onto that Erick insisted on riding shotgun for the intire trip didn’t calm stuff down.

Another annoying factor of the bus-ride was constantly being referered to as “driver”, which made me feel allot like this guy. Also the manager, a real tough-guy New Yorker constantly telling me and everybody off didn’t make it allotta fun either. Parrish Smith was actually a cool dude though, who took time to chat. When I asked him why they hadn’t played “Ruff, Rugged and Raw”, no doubt his biggest solo-anthem the day before in Copenhagen, he mentioned they might play it later – which they did so that was pure freshfest.

The trip back was fairly uneventful, though the bridge across Storebælt was stormy as hell. They said their goodbyes, Parrish gave me a sweater (dude is like size xxxxl) plus all his sticky (it’s allot), so I guess it all turned out all right.

I didn’t really get any news-worthy news, but since this blog is jammed with non-news anyways here go some. PMD is working on a new album, and might come to Denmark with Das Efx next year. Erick Sermon is doing four new projects including solo-album and Def Squad album. He’s also trying to bring Method Man out on tour since his US-career isn’t what it was. I also heard an entire CD of DJ Scratch productions which was fairly cool, so hopefully that’ll end up somewhere dope. DJ Noize came by the hotel to hook Scratch up with breaks, so we might hear some Danish breaks on Busta records in the future. EPMD did a little something with Madness 4 Real in CPH, but I’m not sure what. While I Amsterdam they did this track, which has some cool rhyming and cutting. Also the roadmanager had some big-ass acts that he wants to bring to Denmark, but I’m not sure I’m authorized to tell you who. (hint, one of them said before he came in the door, and the others liked to party but not to cause trouble or bother nobody.)

That’s pretty much the end of my career as a driver, ’cause the MC’s Fight Night flash-back was an episode I could easily do without, and the pay isn’t really worth it (I did it for free). In the end I feel a little like Mike Patton from Faith No More whom after being asked how touring with Guns N Roses and Metallica was, replied: “Not so fun…but educational”.

So I guess I’ll have to find another way to hit y’all off with ‘exclusive’ news in the future.